I'm CareBear KA and I'm a scandalholic

I am addicted to scandal and the sad thing is, I have NO interest in going to rehab. But I have stuff to do so I'm starting this tumblr as a place to download all my Scandal-ous thoughts and clear my mind.

sabiacoruja:

2014 TIME 100 Most Influential People: The Artists

Kerry Washington:  The actor who projects strength amid scandal

Occasionally in American pop culture, an icon emerges who captivates us and provides a vivid snapshot of who we are and the changing times in which we live. In her role as Olivia Pope, Scandal’s unflappable political fixer, Kerry Washington has used her grace and vibrant magnetism to transcend age, race and gender, and to provide a new mainstream media lens through which to view modern womanhood and professional excellence.

Setting aside the “scandalous” melodrama necessary to sustain a fictional series so titled, Kerry has offered up a fresh new archetype for what it means to lead while combining courage and compassion, strength and vulnerability, passion, steely discipline and unfailing loyalty. It is a role that makes full use of her distinctive talent for drawing in audiences with such authenticity that we often forget she is acting.

Kerry’s work with the President’s Committee on the Arts and the Humanities since 2009 is also a source of deep inspiration, using arts education to close achievement gaps and ignite passion among young people.

In a world that too often tells little girls to choose between womanhood and success, between femininity and a seat at the head of the table, both onscreen and off Kerry Washington embodies the promise that lives in all our young people to shape their own destinies and succeed as “gladiators” for the causes in which they believe.

written by Valerie Jarrett, Senior Advisor to the President of the United States and Assistant to the President for Public Liaison and Intergovernmental Affairs in the Obama administration

(via sophiealexan)

And all of those Shonda-phants who think she can’t do any wrong will be upset when the others eclipse Kerry and her accomplishments. The success of the show led to these other opportunities and it’s an effing shame that one self-hating, pathetic ass woman derailed the show.

1shara:

luvinscandal—6ways2sunday:

1shara:

luvinscandal—6ways2sunday:

1shara:

sophiealexan:

1shara:

jea-nte:

paulamaf2013:

jazzypom:

earthmother29:

ramblerthoughts:

scandalgladiators:

—-salemgirl0625

other shows with well written black female leads who are normal, interesting, approachable,…

I really don’t understand why people feel they need to tear down Shonda Rhimes and I don’t understand why people need to tear down Kerry Washington in order to build up Shonda or Scandal and I don’t understand why people need to tear down Tony Goldwyn and the Goldwyn family to build up Kerry Washington.  And the funny thing is you all think you’re superior to the other but in reality you are all alike.  Using the same strategy as the one for whom you profess disdain and perpetuating the same kind of negativity. 

Stating facts about Tony Goldwyn especially in regards to the MGM meme is not tearing him down. I  defended him when it was alleged that he’s only on the Kerry and Shonda bandwagon for the fame and fortune, never mind that it’s a well known  fact that he is genuinely appalled at the lack of diversity in Hollywood.

His grandfather and father may not have been at the centre of the Civil Rights Movement but the record shows that they certainly did their level best to showcase black Hollywood at a time when nobody cared. More so his grandfather with ‘Porgy & Bess’. Samuel Goldwyn had a helluva time turning this theatre production into a film and now although the original footage cannot be found ( I believe the Gershwin family are holding on it), thanks to him the records holds that this was  a seminal piece of work (never mind the numerous bloops).

Rebutting the MGM meme in no way compares to how some in this fandom run around referring to Nnamdi as the ‘unemployed one’ or ‘Mr Worst Investment ever’. It does not compare to how they took the image of a little black girl and plastered it all over the internet as they made all manner of allegations about Nnamdi’s sexuality; same post.  They took to ferreting around Anna and Tessa’s tweeter accounts and Instagram for family photos and comments and then turned around and demanded that they be accorded privacy.Best believe it when I say, if we wanted to go in on Tony, weo could go on in much harder than this. Much harderd.

Word to the wise. You haven’t been around here long enough to act as judge, jury or executioner so kindly  miss me with the pontificating. Okay?

Obviously you are unable to read your own posts with an objective eye.  In one of your posts on this thread you said TG should be thanking SR for saving him from the scrap heap.  That’s not tearing him down?  Just because you sometimes say positive things about him doesn’t mean you don’t project your hatred for Terry onto him at other times.  It is frequently evidenced in your posts especially when you are “rebutting” the Terry memes.  And then you justify it to yourself by saying that what Terrys do is worse.  Even if what they’re doing is worse, that doesn’t make what you’re doing any less negative. 

Here are a few specific similarities between you and the Terrys you rail against.  1) You both act as self-appointed defenders and protectors of people who don’t know you from a can of paint.  For them it’s TG.  For you it’s Nnamdi.  2)  In order to promote your guy you each end up promulgating negativity about the perceived—or more accurately imagined—competitor.  I say imagined because there is no actual competition between these two men.  Hopefully Kerry Washington will continue to enjoy a wonderful working relationship with Tony Goldwyn and a wonderful personal relationship with her husband Nnamdi.  Both of these men seem to put a great deal of good out into the world which is probably why Kerry likes one and is in love with the other.  But there’s no competition there.  So why is unjustified criticism of one met with unjustified criticism (of any degree) of the other?  3)  Veiled suggestions that you could unleash much more negativity if you wanted to.  They allude to things being revealed about Nnamdi and you say things like “Best believe it when I say, if we wanted to go in on Tony, weo could go on in much harder than this.  Much harderd” (sic)   4) When called out on something you resort to accusing that person of “pontificating” or writing dissertations or whatever else will allow you to be dismissive without considering the validity of what was said.

It’s really all the same shit just for a different cause.   

What is this? Tone policing? Free psychoanalysis? Proofreading exercise? What?

While we are at it, let’s get some facts straight, I don’t hate Terry. Terry does not exist. I cannot hate  what does not exist. I loath lies. I speak up against lies and based on my experience in this fandom (which is far much longer than yours) I will voice my opinions as I see fit, tone be damned. Because guess what, unlike you, I’ve been here since the beginning, I’ve watched this fandom be turned into a mess by a bunch of disrespectful fantasists; it started with tearing down Mellie, then Jane, Olivia, Shonda then Kerry and finally Nnamdi. I saw the seeds being planted, the shoots and roots sprouting and now we have these monsters in our midst constantly perpetuating lies and starting fires with their lies. I refuse to be silent because silence is another form of acquiescence. You take the high road and I’ll take low.

You think I’m here to root for Nnamdi? Goes to show how much you know. I spoke up way before we got wind that Kerry was involved with anyone, way before we heard of her involvement with Nnamdi, way before Kerry and Nnamdi got married. Before there was Nnamdi there was Kerry. I root for Kerry. Don’t be quick to make snap judgments, it only leads to illogical conclusions.

Yes. I said it. Shonda saved Tony from the scrap heap. You only have to look at his resume and compare it to that of his contemporaries. The same people going on about how he could and should  walk  need to remember that as of three years ago most of them didn’t even know of his existence. They now want to slag off Shonda yet, prior to Scandal, Tony could appear on their screen in one guise or the other and, they’d look right through him. If he was that brilliant they would have noticed him anyway. And then along comes  Shonda, she crafts him in her own image and all over sudden he is a god and she is a heathen not worthy of any honour and praise? They now want to ram into her,take pot shots at her her hair, her weight,her parenting skills deny her any support and pray for her downfall as they argue that black women are not a monolith.  Pray tell where were they when in 4 decades the white showrunners couldn’t be assed to give us a show featuring a black female lead? And you think I speak up because I’m defending Nnamdi, goes to show how much you know.

As to my so called ‘veiled assertions’. How do I phrase this…it’s going on 2 o’ clock (in the morning), I’ve had a long day and now I’m knackered. Normally I try to be polite, blunt but polite.  My idea of going in hard would not constitute  telling porkies about Tony, my idea of going in hard, would constitute telling a nameless, faceless wonder (like yourself for instance) to fuck off. Please fuck off, I’m not here to be tone policed, neither am I here to be the subject of your cheap psychoanalysis. Cheap because you reduce my arguments/views. statements to a battle between two penises and completely over look the fact that my ire arises from the obvious lack of black consciousness that  in this fandom.

RE: harderd.  That was a typo. For some strange reason they seem to creeping with more frequency (best known to me and frankly speaking, none of your business). That single spelling error, didit  detract from my post, did it distract you, did it deny you the opportunity to understand what I was saying? Please accept my apologies.BTW,  I’ll have you know I’m an african child, a very proud african child. English is my third language. I come from a line of polygots  in our home,  other than our mother tongue, lingua franca and various other African languages totalling 10, we speak inter alia French, Italian and Latin. Don’t come at me over a minor typo. I’m not in the mood,i suggest you check yourself before you act all hoitty toitty in regards to  how I apply the language of the oppressor, because I’m not the not the one- my whole identity is not wrapped up in how well I speak or write English.

Kindly show me a single post in which I’ve ever dismissed someone else’s view by labelling their post a dissertation, whilst you are at it, kindly show me a post where I’ve ever dismissed someone’s view by claiming their post is too long and therefore pointless to read. What next? Most probably you’ll accuse me of employing tumblr saviour and tumblr ignore in order to block out those whose views do not tally with mine.Way before you showed up here, I was at the forefront of calling for a free and fair forum,  a forum devoid of cliques and gangs, a forum that thrived on  robust debate and honest discussions as opposed to rumours, insinuation and innuendo. The terrymongers turned this fandom into a cesspit of shit with their lies and fantasies. By Scandalfandom years, you’re newbie, fresh. You can afford to stand here and allege all sorts. Well, please forgive us the jaded ones, too cynical to let ignorance, stupidity and craziness  go unadressed. The last time things went unchallenged , we had a ship, complete with a crest and people judging Jane and pitting Kerry against her because oh well, marriage vows be damned, Kerry’s so pwetty  and  therefore more deserving to be with the adonis that is Tony. Kerry’s victory was going to be our salvation, this victory would make up  for hundreds and hundreds of years of oppression at hands of white supremacy. Strewth.

Did you even consider the validity of what Jazzypom said RE: Kerry’s career pre-Scandal and the response she received? Did you even consider the validity of what I said (I wonder because, I certainly didn’t mention Nnamdi). I stand by what I said,RE: Tony? I repeat, he was one step away from obscurity before ‘Scandal’ and, all that talk about him being an MGM heir is nothing but hot air. You are newbie in this fandom (not a sin) therefore I would advise that you endevour to furnish yourself with  proper history before you make sweeping statements. There’s a reason as to why we no longer apply dulcet tones when addressing a certain faction of this fandom.

Stop pontificating, stop acting as if you know me from somewhere especially, when you come at me with statements to the effect that I’m looking to tear down Tony in an attempt to uplift Nnamdi. Seriously? I’ve always been about Shonda, then Kerry. Nnamdi is secondary to these two. If you can work your head around that, then at least we’ll be at the same starting point, but if you want to come at me with all this Nnamdi vs Tony talk, then you can just forget it.

You take the high road, i’ll take the l, it’s going on  2 o’clock in the morning and I’m not in the mood.

1shara What is this? None of the above. I made some observations about a series of posts. If I practiced Psychoanalysis, it certainly wouldn’t be via Tumblr. I could go thru your post point by point, but when one of your points is “fuck off”, it really doesn’t seem like a very good use of my time. Bottom line is that when you join folks on the low road, as you so proudly proclaim you have, people will notice and will sometimes point it out. That’s all I was doing. The low road is the low road. Doesn’t matter why you went there and it doesn’t matter how long you resisted before you went there. Once you go there, you are behaving like “them”. If you feel happy and proud about your low road choice then there’s no need to go off on me just because I called it what it is and challenged the idea that your low road is somehow superior to the Terries low road. Would love to sign off by saying I’ll be fucking off now, but there’s very little room for good natured humor on the low road. Peace.

And all of those Shonda-phants who think she can’t do any wrong will be upset when the others eclipse Kerry and her accomplishments. The success of the show led to these other opportunities and it’s an effing shame that one self-hating, pathetic ass woman derailed the show.

sophiealexan:

luvinscandal—6ways2sunday:

1shara:

sophiealexan:

1shara:

jea-nte:

paulamaf2013:

jazzypom:

earthmother29:

ramblerthoughts:

scandalgladiators:

—-salemgirl0625

other shows with well written black female leads who are normal, interesting, approachable,…

I really don’t understand why people feel they need to tear down Shonda Rhimes and I don’t understand why people need to tear down Kerry Washington in order to build up Shonda or Scandal and I don’t understand why people need to tear down Tony Goldwyn and the Goldwyn family to build up Kerry Washington.  And the funny thing is you all think you’re superior to the other but in reality you are all alike.  Using the same strategy as the one for whom you profess disdain and perpetuating the same kind of negativity. 

I don’t understand it either, but in this case she is presenting facts to counter the myths that are frequently presented about the Goldwyns. Facts that can be substantiated. This is not tearing him down but trying to present him realistically against the unicorn fantasies of the Terrys which keep getting more and more fantastic.

I was not singling out 1shara’s comment, rather I was pointing out the never ending cycle of negativity.  However, did you notice how that myth got introduced into the discussion?  1shara brought it up.  She was writing to “counter” a myth that she introduced into the conversation.  And her post went well beyond citing facts to make an argument.   Saying things like “Tony Goldwyn fans should be thanking Shonda Rhimes from picking up Tony Goldwyn from the scrape heap.” is not reciting facts it is being disparaging of his career.  This is the exact same sort of disparaging remark that people were trying to make about Kerry Washington’s career earlier in the thread.  Which is my point.  You and she want to justify these kinds of disparaging remarks about Tony Goldwyn and his career but you want to call out folks for saying the same kinds of things about Kerry Washington.  And thus the downward spiral into negativity gains energy from all sides.

Shonda writes these characters but does not really understand what makes them tic at the core or this season would not seem so schizophrenic…She has no clue of the dynamics of mature yet complicated adult relationship coz even when it is complicated most adults would support each other in times of heightened crisis and when things die down a bit, attempt to fix the rest….

—- paulamaf2013 (via scandalgladiators)

I think the reverse is true. You malcontents sound like teenagers and Shonda has told you and your ilk to find other entertainment outlets. Why don’t you?

(via solockedup)

OMG. Like….. I can’t with these people. Shonda HAS written an extremely complex relationship.

And the reason she is ABC’s largest single source of revenue is that at a fundamental level her brilliance is in writing deeply human, flawed, messy characters. She makes unlike able characters understood by revealing what drives them, what makes them tick. She makes you root for them, loathe them, despair for them, want things for them, and love them. If that isn’t integral to brilliant story telling, then I don’t know what is.

(via wineandcaffeine)

I must say I find it odd that anyone would presume to say that the creator of these characters does not understand them. How can that even be? I mean she created them. She didn’t find them laying around somewhere.

(via wineandcaffeine)

And all of those Shonda-phants who think she can’t do any wrong will be upset when the others eclipse Kerry and her accomplishments. The success of the show led to these other opportunities and it’s an effing shame that one self-hating, pathetic ass woman derailed the show.

1shara:

luvinscandal—6ways2sunday:

1shara:

sophiealexan:

1shara:

jea-nte:

paulamaf2013:

jazzypom:

earthmother29:

ramblerthoughts:

scandalgladiators:

—-salemgirl0625

other shows with well written black female leads who are normal, interesting, approachable,…

I really don’t understand why people feel they need to tear down Shonda Rhimes and I don’t understand why people need to tear down Kerry Washington in order to build up Shonda or Scandal and I don’t understand why people need to tear down Tony Goldwyn and the Goldwyn family to build up Kerry Washington.  And the funny thing is you all think you’re superior to the other but in reality you are all alike.  Using the same strategy as the one for whom you profess disdain and perpetuating the same kind of negativity. 

Stating facts about Tony Goldwyn especially in regards to the MGM meme is not tearing him down. I  defended him when it was alleged that he’s only on the Kerry and Shonda bandwagon for the fame and fortune, never mind that it’s a well known  fact that he is genuinely appalled at the lack of diversity in Hollywood.

His grandfather and father may not have been at the centre of the Civil Rights Movement but the record shows that they certainly did their level best to showcase black Hollywood at a time when nobody cared. More so his grandfather with ‘Porgy & Bess’. Samuel Goldwyn had a helluva time turning this theatre production into a film and now although the original footage cannot be found ( I believe the Gershwin family are holding on it), thanks to him the records holds that this was  a seminal piece of work (never mind the numerous bloops).

Rebutting the MGM meme in no way compares to how some in this fandom run around referring to Nnamdi as the ‘unemployed one’ or ‘Mr Worst Investment ever’. It does not compare to how they took the image of a little black girl and plastered it all over the internet as they made all manner of allegations about Nnamdi’s sexuality; same post.  They took to ferreting around Anna and Tessa’s tweeter accounts and Instagram for family photos and comments and then turned around and demanded that they be accorded privacy.Best believe it when I say, if we wanted to go in on Tony, weo could go on in much harder than this. Much harderd.

Word to the wise. You haven’t been around here long enough to act as judge, jury or executioner so kindly  miss me with the pontificating. Okay?

Obviously you are unable to read your own posts with an objective eye.  In one of your posts on this thread you said TG should be thanking SR for saving him from the scrap heap.  That’s not tearing him down?  Just because you sometimes say positive things about him doesn’t mean you don’t project your hatred for Terry onto him at other times.  It is frequently evidenced in your posts especially when you are “rebutting” the Terry memes.  And then you justify it to yourself by saying that what Terrys do is worse.  Even if what they’re doing is worse, that doesn’t make what you’re doing any less negative. 

Here are a few specific similarities between you and the Terrys you rail against.  1) You both act as self-appointed defenders and protectors of people who don’t know you from a can of paint.  For them it’s TG.  For you it’s Nnamdi.  2)  In order to promote your guy you each end up promulgating negativity about the perceived—or more accurately imagined—competitor.  I say imagined because there is no actual competition between these two men.  Hopefully Kerry Washington will continue to enjoy a wonderful working relationship with Tony Goldwyn and a wonderful personal relationship with her husband Nnamdi.  Both of these men seem to put a great deal of good out into the world which is probably why Kerry likes one and is in love with the other.  But there’s no competition there.  So why is unjustified criticism of one met with unjustified criticism (of any degree) of the other?  3)  Veiled suggestions that you could unleash much more negativity if you wanted to.  They allude to things being revealed about Nnamdi and you say things like “Best believe it when I say, if we wanted to go in on Tony, weo could go on in much harder than this.  Much harderd” (sic)   4) When called out on something you resort to accusing that person of “pontificating” or writing dissertations or whatever else will allow you to be dismissive without considering the validity of what was said.

It’s really all the same shit just for a different cause.   And I’d like to point out that I was not singling you out in my earlier post.  It’s a cycle of negativity feeding on itself.

And all of those Shonda-phants who think she can’t do any wrong will be upset when the others eclipse Kerry and her accomplishments. The success of the show led to these other opportunities and it’s an effing shame that one self-hating, pathetic ass woman derailed the show.

1shara:

sophiealexan:

1shara:

jea-nte:

paulamaf2013:

jazzypom:

earthmother29:

ramblerthoughts:

scandalgladiators:

—-salemgirl0625

other shows with well written black female leads who are normal, interesting, approachable,…

I really don’t understand why people feel they need to tear down Shonda Rhimes and I don’t understand why people need to tear down Kerry Washington in order to build up Shonda or Scandal and I don’t understand why people need to tear down Tony Goldwyn and the Goldwyn family to build up Kerry Washington.  And the funny thing is you all think you’re superior to the other but in reality you are all alike.  Using the same strategy as the one for whom you profess disdain and perpetuating the same kind of negativity. 

luvinscandal—6ways2sunday:

raytwin:

cindersinrags:

divaspoet:

cindersinrags:

divaspoet:

cindersinrags:

divaspoet:

babycakesbriauna:

nikkisshadetree:

bananadome:

Olivia loves Fitz

No she doesn’t.

She doesn’t know how to love

Whatever she feels for him, it isn’t strong enough to make her stay and fight for them and their future. It isn’t strong enough to overpower her need to flee every single time they are tested or an uncomfortable situation presents itself.
She may not know how to show her feelings, but a large part of that is because she has never truly committed herself to feeling those feelings, being honest about those feelings, accepting those feelings, verbally acknowledging those feelings, and attempting to express those feelings with honest actions.

But what is she fighting for? A man who told her that he’s staying to mend his wife’s brokenness and his family? For how long must she wait? For how long must she sit watching him mourn the loss of his child with his wife? A month? Three months? Six months? When will he get round to divorcing his wife?

Also, Olivia is bearing the guilt of one of her parents murdering the son of the man she loves. She thinks that the problem is her, and she thinks that everybody would be better off if she removed herself from their lives. Damn, I was exhausted watching the toll that working for Fitz and his family took on her. Olivia’s entire life is a wreck, and some of that is Fitz’s fault. Regardless of how much she loves him, the idea that she should stay when she feels as broken as she does, just to be there for him is BS. Olivia has to put herself first, she has to fix herself otherwise she’s no good to anybody in her orbit, she’s certainly no good for Fitz carrying all that guilt. The only reason people are angry is because she let Jake go with her, had she gone alone, nobody would have been talking about how selfish she was leaving him to grieve alone for his son.

It shouldn’t be up to Olivia to fight, Fitz is the one who’s married. Fitz is the one who has to extricate himself out of his marriage, but he’s staying to fix his family, and no matter how much he says he loves Olivia, talk is cheap. Action is what matters. Fitz is doing the right thing by staying with Mellie for now, but that doesn’t stop the fact that it must hurt Olivia. Her leaving on a plane with Jake doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love Fitz as much as he loves her, it just means that she’s recognized that she needs to fix her life. Jake being with her is a terrible idea, but she’ll probably realize that soon enough.

I think it’s ridiculous that people are blaming the single woman in the adulterous relationship for not being there for the man who says he wants to marry her and have babies with her, even though he’s still married.

I usually don’t do this, but what the hell. If both parties in a relationship aren’t willing to actively fight for the survival of that relationship, it will never work. Period. And I’m going to keep noting, because somehow this constantly gets overlooked, Olivia was very well aware that Fitz was married when she rolled her suitcase right past her own door and down the hall to his room. She didn’t wake up one day and suddenly discover that Fitz already had a wife. I (used to wholeheartedly) believe in the bond between Fitz and Olivia, but when one person is (even extremely, miserably, and unhappily) married, there will be hurdles to jump and mountains to climb when pursing a future with that person. If you’re going to pursue it, you have to face the consequences. If you don’t want the consequences, move on and don’t keep going back. Talk is cheap because when you say you’re in it together, when you say you want to live in the here and now, when you say you love someone but your actions are you always walking away, the sight of your back (or a detached and cowardly resignation letter) speak much louder. Actions are what matter right? How long must she wait? That depends on how long she’s willing to play this game of yo-yo. That depends on how many times she wants to throw up roadblocks. If she doesn’t want to deal with him while he’s still married then she should actually stop dealing with him while he’s still married. I think it’s ridiculous that people refuse to rightfully assign any responsibility to the unmarried woman, the same unmarried woman who consciously and freely chose to get involved in an adulterous relationship with the President, who demanded to be earned then proclaimed she couldn’t be won. My question for those who believe Fitz is at fault for the state of their relationship, that Olivia shouldn’t be blamed for anything, that everyone else is the problem - why would she need any fixing? She’s just the victim that everyone uses, right? She’s just the help, right? She’s never in the wrong, right?

So because Olivia knew that Fitz was married 5 years ago when she slept with him, her feelings about being with a married man shouldn’t change because she knew what she was getting into? That thought process doesn’t allow for the time, the pressure, and strains that happen in a normal relationship, let alone a relationship where the guy is married. It doesn’t take into consideration that the things that you thought you wanted five years ago, and how you felt about certain situations, might not be the same today.

I think the question to ask is, if Fitz got a divorce and he was a free to be with her, do you think that Olivia would keep walking away from him? If the answer is yes, then the relationship is doomed whatever, but if the answer is no, then that suggests to me that his marital status is what needs to change, and there’s only person in their relationship who can change the status quo, and it isn’t Olivia.

The state of their relationship isn’t about who’s most at fault, it’s about the actions that are needed to get them from point A to point B. Fitz isn’t at fault per se, but he’s the one with the greatest power to change the trajectory of their relationship.  If Olivia stays around being Fitz’s mistress without Fitz actually getting a divorce, how does that move them forward? Fitz loves Olivia and Olivia loves Fitz, yet they can’t tell anybody, they can’t publicize it, because he’s married, how does that benefit them? I personally never called Olivia a victim, but the secrets, the lies, the working for Fitz and his family, being privy to his family drama had worn her out, yet she was still there, she didn’t leave. She didn’t leave because she felt she was a victim and she didn’t love Fitz enough, she left because she felt that her presence in his life made him a target. She wasn’t running away from him, she was running away for him.

I’m going to take my time and reread. I seem to keep missing the part that says Olivia owns a large portion of the choices and events that have led to her current circumstances.
Not calling someone a victim while placing the onus of correcting the problems on the shoulders of another is allowing that someone to escape responsibility for their participation - making them a victim without the label. Fitz isn’t totally at fault “per se” but he has to do all the heavy lifting? That “per se” is a cute way of spreading the blame around without really moving it anywhere.
I’m all for growth, progress, movement, but for three seasons I’ve watched her do the same thing over and over. That’s not growth, that’s a pattern. If this was the first time she bailed, especially considering the circumstances, it would be different. But it’s not.

In episode 316, Fitz says to Olivia “I didn’t happen to you” and she says “I know. That was her acknowledging that she went into this relationship with her eyes open. The choice to be with him has always been hers. Nowhere in my comments did I suggest otherwise. She has had opportunities to be with him and she’s walked away, and that’s on her. But she’s now in a field of guilt, where all she can see for miles are dead bodies and broken people. And she’s standing at the center of that field watching as more dead bodies and broken people are added to the ones around her already. She thought she was helping people, but realizes that as long as she’s around, nothing will change, and people will keep getting hurt, and she desperately wants that to change. I don’t agree with her that these things are entirely her fault, but there is no denying that she’s inextricably linked to bad shit happening to good people.

In Olivia’s mind, this isn’t about not loving Fitz enough, it’s about loving him enough to not want to cause him any more pain.

As for Fitz having to do most of the heavy lifting to change their relationship, I will always stand by this, because this isn’t a 50/50 relationship, this isn’t a relationship where she goes home and he’s there with a glass of wine ready to massage her feet. This is a relationship where she goes home to an empty apartment. This is a relationship where he’s married and she isn’t. For me, the most she should be doing is demanding that he divorce his wife, she should be giving him ultimatums because they’ve done this dance for long enough now. Unfortunately, that’s something that we’ve never seen her do. She’s never asked him to leave his wife, but circling back to my point, he’s the one who built them a home that they can’t live in until he gets a divorce. She shouldn’t really have to demand that he divorce his wife, that’s something that he should do regardless of Olivia, because his marriage is toxic as hell.

But Mellie and Fitz had to lance a huge ass boil full of secrets and lies before they can move forward to a divorce. Olivia is doing the right thing by not giving an ultimatum. We as an audience are tired as hell, and I get why we are impatient. But things as they stand now between Fitz and Olivia? I see why she was telling him to hold his horses on the phone. She was the one who said, you can’t leave her now and I wouldn’t want you if you did. She does not want that infection to creep into their relationship. That boil needs to crust over and heal. Liv knows that Fitz doesn’t love Mellie any more or love her any less, she just knows that Fitz needs to be a decent human being to the woman he shared over 20 years with. She was willing to wait again. Then Jerry died, and that is what made her snap and say, damn, I can’t do this. Everything is a mess and I need to re-assess.

cindersinrags you note that Olivia has never asked Fitz to leave his marriage.  This is an interesting part of your argument because it’s true.  She has never asked him to leave his marriage.  But on multiple occasions she has told, insisted, or advised him to remain in his marriage.  That shouldn’t be dismissed.  It’s not coincidental that she never asks him to leave and often asks him to stay. 

People in the fandom want to treat the divorce like it’s a simple thing and it’s not.  Anyone who has observed American politics in even the most casual of ways knows that an acrimonious divorce between the President and First Lady would cause the public to turn against him. Both Fitz and Olivia are equally invested in him serving out 2 terms as President.  It is an integral part of their partnership.  What kind of happiness could they build together if the foundation was laid upon the ruins of his presidency?  Not a lasting one. Olivia understands that and when it has come down to it, she has kept Fitz on the reality track rather than indulging the fantasy that his presidency would have survived a divorce without Mellie’s cooperation.  Now what we know with our heads is not always sufficient to sustain our hearts and at times she feels overwhelmed and rightly feels that she can’t / shouldn’t wait for their time to come.   And she has rightly explored other options for moving on.  But up to this point in the story, divorce has never been a realistic option given that it would have destroyed his presidency, leaving them a broken foundation for their relationship.  The good news after the finale is that Fitz and Mellie now have the opportunity of uncouple in an amiable way.  This will be good for Olitz because an acrimonious divorce would also have provided a poor foundation for Olitz’s future together.  Building your own happiness on someone else’s misery never works.

wineandcaffeine:

The Grants

Did anyone else think Jerry had been shot? I totally did.

^^^^^I had glanced down for a sec and had to ask my husband.  Wasn’t sure if the blood on his tie had been coughed up or if it was a gunshot wound at first.

(Source: thebarlowbutt)

raytwin:

cindersinrags:

divaspoet:

cindersinrags:

divaspoet:

cindersinrags:

divaspoet:

babycakesbriauna:

nikkisshadetree:

bananadome:

Olivia loves Fitz

No she doesn’t.

She doesn’t know how to love

Whatever she feels for him, it isn’t strong enough to make her stay and fight for them and their future. It isn’t strong enough to overpower her need to flee every single time they are tested or an uncomfortable situation presents itself.
She may not know how to show her feelings, but a large part of that is because she has never truly committed herself to feeling those feelings, being honest about those feelings, accepting those feelings, verbally acknowledging those feelings, and attempting to express those feelings with honest actions.

But what is she fighting for? A man who told her that he’s staying to mend his wife’s brokenness and his family? For how long must she wait? For how long must she sit watching him mourn the loss of his child with his wife? A month? Three months? Six months? When will he get round to divorcing his wife?

Also, Olivia is bearing the guilt of one of her parents murdering the son of the man she loves. She thinks that the problem is her, and she thinks that everybody would be better off if she removed herself from their lives. Damn, I was exhausted watching the toll that working for Fitz and his family took on her. Olivia’s entire life is a wreck, and some of that is Fitz’s fault. Regardless of how much she loves him, the idea that she should stay when she feels as broken as she does, just to be there for him is BS. Olivia has to put herself first, she has to fix herself otherwise she’s no good to anybody in her orbit, she’s certainly no good for Fitz carrying all that guilt. The only reason people are angry is because she let Jake go with her, had she gone alone, nobody would have been talking about how selfish she was leaving him to grieve alone for his son.

It shouldn’t be up to Olivia to fight, Fitz is the one who’s married. Fitz is the one who has to extricate himself out of his marriage, but he’s staying to fix his family, and no matter how much he says he loves Olivia, talk is cheap. Action is what matters. Fitz is doing the right thing by staying with Mellie for now, but that doesn’t stop the fact that it must hurt Olivia. Her leaving on a plane with Jake doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love Fitz as much as he loves her, it just means that she’s recognized that she needs to fix her life. Jake being with her is a terrible idea, but she’ll probably realize that soon enough.

I think it’s ridiculous that people are blaming the single woman in the adulterous relationship for not being there for the man who says he wants to marry her and have babies with her, even though he’s still married.

I usually don’t do this, but what the hell. If both parties in a relationship aren’t willing to actively fight for the survival of that relationship, it will never work. Period. And I’m going to keep noting, because somehow this constantly gets overlooked, Olivia was very well aware that Fitz was married when she rolled her suitcase right past her own door and down the hall to his room. She didn’t wake up one day and suddenly discover that Fitz already had a wife. I (used to wholeheartedly) believe in the bond between Fitz and Olivia, but when one person is (even extremely, miserably, and unhappily) married, there will be hurdles to jump and mountains to climb when pursing a future with that person. If you’re going to pursue it, you have to face the consequences. If you don’t want the consequences, move on and don’t keep going back. Talk is cheap because when you say you’re in it together, when you say you want to live in the here and now, when you say you love someone but your actions are you always walking away, the sight of your back (or a detached and cowardly resignation letter) speak much louder. Actions are what matter right? How long must she wait? That depends on how long she’s willing to play this game of yo-yo. That depends on how many times she wants to throw up roadblocks. If she doesn’t want to deal with him while he’s still married then she should actually stop dealing with him while he’s still married. I think it’s ridiculous that people refuse to rightfully assign any responsibility to the unmarried woman, the same unmarried woman who consciously and freely chose to get involved in an adulterous relationship with the President, who demanded to be earned then proclaimed she couldn’t be won. My question for those who believe Fitz is at fault for the state of their relationship, that Olivia shouldn’t be blamed for anything, that everyone else is the problem - why would she need any fixing? She’s just the victim that everyone uses, right? She’s just the help, right? She’s never in the wrong, right?

So because Olivia knew that Fitz was married 5 years ago when she slept with him, her feelings about being with a married man shouldn’t change because she knew what she was getting into? That thought process doesn’t allow for the time, the pressure, and strains that happen in a normal relationship, let alone a relationship where the guy is married. It doesn’t take into consideration that the things that you thought you wanted five years ago, and how you felt about certain situations, might not be the same today.

I think the question to ask is, if Fitz got a divorce and he was a free to be with her, do you think that Olivia would keep walking away from him? If the answer is yes, then the relationship is doomed whatever, but if the answer is no, then that suggests to me that his marital status is what needs to change, and there’s only person in their relationship who can change the status quo, and it isn’t Olivia.

The state of their relationship isn’t about who’s most at fault, it’s about the actions that are needed to get them from point A to point B. Fitz isn’t at fault per se, but he’s the one with the greatest power to change the trajectory of their relationship.  If Olivia stays around being Fitz’s mistress without Fitz actually getting a divorce, how does that move them forward? Fitz loves Olivia and Olivia loves Fitz, yet they can’t tell anybody, they can’t publicize it, because he’s married, how does that benefit them? I personally never called Olivia a victim, but the secrets, the lies, the working for Fitz and his family, being privy to his family drama had worn her out, yet she was still there, she didn’t leave. She didn’t leave because she felt she was a victim and she didn’t love Fitz enough, she left because she felt that her presence in his life made him a target. She wasn’t running away from him, she was running away for him.

I’m going to take my time and reread. I seem to keep missing the part that says Olivia owns a large portion of the choices and events that have led to her current circumstances.
Not calling someone a victim while placing the onus of correcting the problems on the shoulders of another is allowing that someone to escape responsibility for their participation - making them a victim without the label. Fitz isn’t totally at fault “per se” but he has to do all the heavy lifting? That “per se” is a cute way of spreading the blame around without really moving it anywhere.
I’m all for growth, progress, movement, but for three seasons I’ve watched her do the same thing over and over. That’s not growth, that’s a pattern. If this was the first time she bailed, especially considering the circumstances, it would be different. But it’s not.

In episode 316, Fitz says to Olivia “I didn’t happen to you” and she says “I know. That was her acknowledging that she went into this relationship with her eyes open. The choice to be with him has always been hers. Nowhere in my comments did I suggest otherwise. She has had opportunities to be with him and she’s walked away, and that’s on her. But she’s now in a field of guilt, where all she can see for miles are dead bodies and broken people. And she’s standing at the center of that field watching as more dead bodies and broken people are added to the ones around her already. She thought she was helping people, but realizes that as long as she’s around, nothing will change, and people will keep getting hurt, and she desperately wants that to change. I don’t agree with her that these things are entirely her fault, but there is no denying that she’s inextricably linked to bad shit happening to good people.

In Olivia’s mind, this isn’t about not loving Fitz enough, it’s about loving him enough to not want to cause him any more pain.

As for Fitz having to do most of the heavy lifting to change their relationship, I will always stand by this, because this isn’t a 50/50 relationship, this isn’t a relationship where she goes home and he’s there with a glass of wine ready to massage her feet. This is a relationship where she goes home to an empty apartment. This is a relationship where he’s married and she isn’t. For me, the most she should be doing is demanding that he divorce his wife, she should be giving him ultimatums because they’ve done this dance for long enough now. Unfortunately, that’s something that we’ve never seen her do. She’s never asked him to leave his wife, but circling back to my point, he’s the one who built them a home that they can’t live in until he gets a divorce. She shouldn’t really have to demand that he divorce his wife, that’s something that he should do regardless of Olivia, because his marriage is toxic as hell.

But Mellie and Fitz had to lance a huge ass boil full of secrets and lies before they can move forward to a divorce. Olivia is doing the right thing by not giving an ultimatum. We as an audience are tired as hell, and I get why we are impatient. But things as they stand now between Fitz and Olivia? I see why she was telling him to hold his horses on the phone. She was the one who said, you can’t leave her now and I wouldn’t want you if you did. She does not want that infection to creep into their relationship. That boil needs to crust over and heal. Liv knows that Fitz doesn’t love Mellie any more or love her any less, she just knows that Fitz needs to be a decent human being to the woman he shared over 20 years with. She was willing to wait again. Then Jerry died, and that is what made her snap and say, damn, I can’t do this. Everything is a mess and I need to re-assess.

cindersinrags you note that Olivia has never asked Fitz to leave his marriage.  This is an interesting part of your argument because it’s true.  She has never asked him to leave his marriage.  But on multiple occasions she has told, insisted, or advised him to remain in his marriage.  That shouldn’t be dismissed.  It’s not coincidental that she never asks him to leave and often asks him to stay. 

Musings about next season...

sophiealexan:

luvinscandal—6ways2sunday:

solockedup:

sophiealexan:

Sally Langston… no longer has a political position so realistically she would go back to Georgia. So is Kate Burton written out of the show?

Leo - he used to annoy me but I grew to like him. I liked his spark with Abby. He probably lives in D.C. and could…

Perhaps Sally could do what far right conservative politicians who lose their political races do—get a show on Fox News.  It would be awesome to see her periodically giving the Grant administration hell.

Ooh, that would be good. I hate to lose her on the show.

And Abby can go work with Leo who has come to appreciate her talents after they worked together to kill the Reston candidacy and sparred against each other on all those morning talk shows.  She has made her way to the big office in his agency and is his right hand chick.